[Listening to: Rappin 4-Tay – I’ll be there – – (05:50)]
If I had to say something about today it would probably be that today was just like any other day. At least on the surface… Today I went to work, sat in my cube, worked some, chatted some, worked some, surfed some, lather, rinse and repeat. What made today different? Read on and learn more!
Today was also the day I realized that I think I can be replaced with a monkey. Not just any monkey though. Only a poorly dressed, entertaining monkey with slightly asian features and a weight problem bordering on severe would fit the bill. I have a strange feeling though that that monkey wouldn’t have near as much fun as I do at work (as long as you take out the working part and just count the people). He would definately not have as swanky a game win/loss ratio as yours truly much to his dismay, but I wouldn’t be too surprised if he were able to cultivate his gaming expertise to triumph in the end.
I’m not sure why that thought occured to me today especially during one of my many joyous meetings that I look forward to attending everyday. I think it was because I have also recently purchased two books The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook and The Zombie Survival Guide : Complete Protection from the Living Dead. Two great books that will enable me to survive even in the most horrifying nightmares of apocalyptic proportions. Whereas you chumps will be naught but fodder for the walking dead or a vicious bear attack.
Anyhoo… After reading these books a thought that comes to me every so often is: If in fact we were to be subjected to a doomsday type scenario where we would have to live in a situation much like the aforementioned apocalyptic nightmare scenario what exactly would be a reason for someone to keep me in their new community?
A doctor I could understand. He heals people or in the case of the evil doctor he would probably know how to kill someone in such a way as to make it desireable to keep him around. An electrician could probably fix broken electronic things, or a carpenter would be making shelters or maybe a nice shelving unit to store your post-apocalyptic goods. You get the picture?
Now put yourself in world where everything is nearly destroyed your lives and future depend on your survival are at stake and the undead walk the earth there is some awful kind of radiation or plague or some other such disaster and the leader of a newly formed survival community looks at you and asks, “What makes you worth keeping around and using up our food?” And all you can say with glee in your heart is, “Well I can eat a lot of food and if you had a computer I could download porn and play games on it.”
Now that’s a story that makes you want to get the time you spent reading it back.
New Year’s resolution #88 : Don’t poke any large animals with short sticks after having been soaking in some delicious smelling marinade. -v- out.
